Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
~~TAYLOR LAUTNER~~
OMG!!!!!!!! I have not been on 4 ever!!!! I got a new shirt! Its a Taylor Lautner shirt! Well a Jacob Black shirt. It doesn't matter. It has his totally hot face on it. I will try to put a pic of it on the next post!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Centipede.
You will notice most people buy cats or dogs as pets, right? Well, this man got a centipede. He loved the centipede, and wanted to take it to the ball. So he told it to get dressed and he went off to get changed and take a shower. When he was done, he came down and the centipede wasn’t ready! He was furious and yelled at the centipede to get ready again. So he went upstairs, took a shower, changed and came down. The centipede wasn’t ready, still!
The man was mad, so he gave the centipede one last chance to get ready. The man went upstairs, took a shower, changed, and came down to get the centipede. He could see the centipede wasn’t ready, but this time he heard a tiny voice…
“Hold on you big oaf, I’m still putting on my shoes!”
The man was mad, so he gave the centipede one last chance to get ready. The man went upstairs, took a shower, changed, and came down to get the centipede. He could see the centipede wasn’t ready, but this time he heard a tiny voice…
“Hold on you big oaf, I’m still putting on my shoes!”
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really PO.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
really PO.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Happy Easter Death
I killed something Easter Sunday.
My hair because I dyed it.
And I got a chocolate bunny.
It tastes good.
I just ate a bunch of ice.
Now I'm cooled.
So I'm in a blanket.
A to-small-to-thin blanket.
My nose is cooled to.
And my toes.
My hair feels soft.
My mom's going to wax my eyebrows.
In a second.
Tick Tok Tick Tok.
*Sneeze*.
She's watching TV at the moment.
My hair because I dyed it.
And I got a chocolate bunny.
It tastes good.
I just ate a bunch of ice.
Now I'm cooled.
So I'm in a blanket.
A to-small-to-thin blanket.
My nose is cooled to.
And my toes.
My hair feels soft.
My mom's going to wax my eyebrows.
In a second.
Tick Tok Tick Tok.
*Sneeze*.
She's watching TV at the moment.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
OMG I used too go here...
So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical enthusiast OR…..well, fill in anything, It really doesn’t matter because none of it will make sense.
EWWW.
Once I get past the initial overwhelming feeling, I have to ask myself that if this entire outfit was consciously put together, the Power Puff Girls sleevless jacket and every thing, I want to say “No, nobody would do that,” but if I were to go ahead and pick someone who might…..
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Zim Qotes
Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?
-
[GIR is disguised as a government agent]
Gir: I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me.
-
Dib: [gasping] Sorry I'm late... horrible... nightmare visions!
Ms. Bitters: It's called life, Dib. Now sit down
-
Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
-
Zim: Be gone with you! I've had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with... corn!
Dib: But I haven't been eating corn
Zim: [shouts] Liar!
-
Zim: GIR! What are you doing?
Gir: I made mashed po-ta-toes!
Zim: Yes... and muffins...
-
Gir: [five minutes after eating it, crying] I miss my cupcake.
-
[Zim stuffs a globe into a goldfish bowl, goldfish is crushed against side of bowl]
Zim: Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest Gir?
Gir: I'm gonna eat that fish.
Zim: No, Gir. The fish is part of the plan.
Gir: But I is hungry
-
[Drawing a pig]
Gir: The pig... COMMANDS ME!
-
[a kid gets hit by a kickball]
Kid: Ow, my organs!
Zim: Buahahaha. Inferior human organs!
[Zim gets hit by the ball]
Zim: Boh! My squeedily spooch!
-
Zim: Computer, give me all the information you have on the FBI.
Computer: The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Zim: Continue.
Computer: Insufficient data.
Zim: "Insufficient data"? Can't you just make an educated guess?
Computer: O... kay... Um, founded in 1492 by, uh... demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to... uh, I dunno, fight... aliens?
Zim: I KNEW IT!
-
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?
-
[GIR is disguised as a government agent]
Gir: I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me.
-
Dib: [gasping] Sorry I'm late... horrible... nightmare visions!
Ms. Bitters: It's called life, Dib. Now sit down
-
Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
-
Zim: Be gone with you! I've had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with... corn!
Dib: But I haven't been eating corn
Zim: [shouts] Liar!
-
Zim: GIR! What are you doing?
Gir: I made mashed po-ta-toes!
Zim: Yes... and muffins...
-
Gir: [five minutes after eating it, crying] I miss my cupcake.
-
[Zim stuffs a globe into a goldfish bowl, goldfish is crushed against side of bowl]
Zim: Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest Gir?
Gir: I'm gonna eat that fish.
Zim: No, Gir. The fish is part of the plan.
Gir: But I is hungry
-
[Drawing a pig]
Gir: The pig... COMMANDS ME!
-
[a kid gets hit by a kickball]
Kid: Ow, my organs!
Zim: Buahahaha. Inferior human organs!
[Zim gets hit by the ball]
Zim: Boh! My squeedily spooch!
-
Zim: Computer, give me all the information you have on the FBI.
Computer: The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Zim: Continue.
Computer: Insufficient data.
Zim: "Insufficient data"? Can't you just make an educated guess?
Computer: O... kay... Um, founded in 1492 by, uh... demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to... uh, I dunno, fight... aliens?
Zim: I KNEW IT!
-
Monday, March 29, 2010
LOL!
Ok so I'm on a collage campus, and the key board keeps stttiiikkkkinggg lol.
The one that you go too Derick.
And I think I just saw you, no, his hairs too long...
The one that you go too Derick.
And I think I just saw you, no, his hairs too long...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Awkard
Awkward is: beautiful/sublime self-deprication/moments of complete truths/subconscious bravery/where falsities fall away/fun wrapped in situ/ awkard is: human.
Soup.
I want soup.
I think I'll have some soup.
I don't like the soup we have.
*Sobs-like-crazy* "I NEED SOUP!"
S -Say it out loud
O - oh
U - uo
P - po
What does that sound like COMMENT!
I think I'll have some soup.
I don't like the soup we have.
*Sobs-like-crazy* "I NEED SOUP!"
S -Say it out loud
O - oh
U - uo
P - po
What does that sound like COMMENT!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Did you know?
101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don't die throughout the movie.
Did you know?
The tan/tall one is the new one.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts, and they have made Barbara thinner and thinner over the decades, Barbie's measurements, if she were life-size, would be 39-29-33.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
LOL!
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.
1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________
8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________
9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, and Mother? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________
If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in
a serpentine fashion is advised. )
I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.
Signature (that means your name, moron)______________________________________________________
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be
notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.
APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.
1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________
8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________
9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, and Mother? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________
If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in
a serpentine fashion is advised. )
I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.
Signature (that means your name, moron)______________________________________________________
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be
notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.
APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
WARNING
If you see colors in the sky, grasp your throat and pretend to choke yourself. Girls go for that.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
SLEEPOVER!
YAY! Mia is sleeping over!!
Ya know, this blog is kinda like my twitter I don't have a twitter but it's kinda like it.
Ya know, this blog is kinda like my twitter I don't have a twitter but it's kinda like it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
MOTHER NEVER MISSES
OK, so me and my family were driving in a parking lot and my mom drove by a parking spot and my dad was like, "Theres one," and my mom was like "I saw it I'm going over there." and he was all, "IOh I thought you missed it." and I was kinda irratated at him, and so I go in a really deep gravley voice I go, "Mother misses nothing." and Joshuas like "What Was THAT?!" and it's like a joke between us like, Shane Dawson had a video to kill Fred Figglehorn a youtube star and so when Shanaynay was killing (trying to kill) Fred he wouldn't die, and as you can see in this video fred uasuly has a high piched voice goes in a deep gravely voice (Like me! :) ) "FRED WILL NEVER DIE." and I bustup laughing, it's so funny!
Monday, March 8, 2010
How many inches are in a mile?
There are 5,280 feet in a mile. There are 12 inches in a foot. 5280 x 12 = 63,360 inches in a mile.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
I have done 200 of these, I'll put a D by the ones I have.
474 Things To Do When You're Bored
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth D
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair D
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself D
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr D
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your pillow X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water D
- Calmly have a nervous breakdown
- Give your goldfish a perm
- Fly a brick
- Play tag...on West 35th Street
- Exorcise a ghost
- Exercise a ghost
- Be blue D
- Be red D
- But don't be orange
- Plant a shoe
- Sweat D
- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
- Turn D
- Write a letter to Plato
- Mail it
- Take your sofa for a walk
- Start D
- Stop D
- Dial 911 and breathe heavily
- Go to a funeral...tell jokes
- Play the piano...with mittens on
- Scheme D
- Sit D
- Stay D
- Water your family room
- Cause a power failure
- Roll over D
- Play dead D
- Find a witch
- Burn her
- Donate your brother's body to science.... Almost D
- Ask why D
- Wriggle D
- Regress
- Sleepwalk without sleeping D
- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
- Wonder D
- Be a square root
- Ask stupid questions D, D, & D again
- Weld your car doors shut
- Spew D
- Vacation at Three-Mile Island
- Surf Ohio
- Teach your pet rock to play dead D I love you Tony!
- Go bowling for small game
- Be a monk...for a day
- Wear a sweatband to your wedding
- Staple
- Run away D
- Intimidate a piece of chalk D
- Abuse the plumbing
- Bend a florescent light
- Bend a brick
- Annoy total strangers D
- Let the best man win
- Believe in Santa Clause
- Throw marshmallows against the wall
- Hold an ice cube as long as possible D
- Adopt strange mannerisms DDDDDDDD
- Blow up a balloon until it pops D
- Sing soft and sweet and clear D
- Sing loud and sour and gravelyD
- Open everything
- Balance a pencil on your nose
- Pour milk in your shoes
- Write graffiti under the rug
- Embarrass yourself D
- Grind your teeth D
- Chew ice D
- Count your belly button "1, 2, 3... Wait." 0.0
- Sit in a row
- Stack crumbs D
- GestureD
- Save your toenail clippings D-ish
- Make a pass at your blender
- Punt
- Make up words that start with X D
- Make oatmeal in the bathtub
- Search for the Lost Chord
- Chew on a sofa cushion
- Sing a duet
- Balance a pillow on your head D
- Hold your breathD
- Faint D
- StretchD
- Flash your mailman "Hmm, let me think, no."
- Teach your TA English
- Learn to speak Farsi
- Swear in Russian
- Use an eraser until it goes away D
- Disassemble your car
- Put it together inside out
- Record your walls
- Interview your feet D
- Make a list of your favorite fungi
- Sell formaldehyde
- Repeat
- File your teeth - Whine D
- Rake your carpetD
- Re-elect Richard Nixon
- Critique "Three's Company" Done Done and Doner
- Listen to a painting
- Play with matches D...
- Buff your cat
- Race ferrets
- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
- Have a formal dinner at White Castle
- Read Homer in the original Greek
- Learn Greek
- Change your mind D
- Change it back D
- Watch the sun...see if it moves D
- Build a pyramid
- Stand on your head D
- Stand on someone else's head
- Spit shine your Nikes
- See how long you can stay awake DDD
- See how long you can sleep
- Paint your teeth
- Wear a salad
- Speak with a forked tongue
- Paint stripes on a lake
- Ski Kansas
- Sleep in freefall
- Kill a Joule
- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
- Apply for a unicorn hunting license
- Do a good job D- I'm the good kid remember?
- Crawl D
- Invite the Mansons over for dinner
- Paint your windows
- Watch a watch until it stops
- Flash your goldfish D o.o
- Paint
- Flirt with an evergreen
- Smile
- Rotate your garden...daily
- Paint a smile
- Shoot a fire hydrant
- Apologize to it
- Pretend you're blind D
- Annoy yourself D
- Get mad at yourself D
- Stop speaking to yourself D
- Be a side effect D
- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
- Duck D OMG YES!
- Redecorate...your garage
- Develop a complex
- Join the Army...be someone simple
- Try harder D
- Hit the deck
- Put leg-warmers on your furniture
- Cut the deck
- Crumple D
- Translate Shakespeare into English
- Skydive to church
- Cheer up a potato LOL D
- Do aerobic exercises...in your head
- Play cards with your swimming pool
- Pinstripe your driveway
- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
- Harness chipmunk power D
- Build a house with ice cubes
- Call London for a cab
- Mug a stop sign
- Change your name...daily
- Go for a walk in your attic
- Challenge your neighbor to a duel
- Build a house out of toothpicks
- Howl D
- Wear a lampshade on your head
- Memorize the dictionary
- Stomp grapes in the bathtub
- Find a bug and chase it D
- Make yourself a pair of wings D
- Be immobile Many a time....
- Dance 'til you drop D
- Check under chairs for chewing gum
- Squish a loaf of bread
- Moo D
- Bounce a potato D
- Outmaneuver your shadow
- Climb the walls
- Appreciate everything
- Challenge yourself to a duel
- Make napalm
- Tattoo your dresser
- Watch a bowling ball
- Buy some diapers
- Eat everything
- Begin D
- Pour milk in the sink
- Make cottage cheese
- Tie-dye your sheets
- Carpet your ceiling
- Hold your earlobes D
- Fold your earlobes D
- Flap D
- Squawk D
- Read tea leaves
- Analyze the Koran
- Be Buddha
- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
- Plug in the cat
- Turn on everything
- Drop pebbles down the chimney
- Turn off your neighbor
- Kill a plant D
- Buy a 1931 Almanac
- Memorize the weather section
- Think lewd thoughts about yourself
- Blow bubbles D
- Send chills down your spine D
- Peel grapes D
- Make paper from the skins
- Bloat D
- Catch them with your radiator
- Get run over by a train of thought
- Make up famous sayings D
- Bite your pinkie
- Get your dog braces
- Shave a shrub
- Have a proton fight
- Watch a car rust
- Quiver
- Rotate your carpet
- Learn to type...with your toes
- Set up your Christmas tree in April
- Be someone special D
- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
- Mail it to a friend
- Go back to square one D
- Factor your social security number
- Take the fifth
- Memorize a series of random numbers D
- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
- Join the Foreign Legion
- Learn Sanskrit
- Exist...existentially, of course D
- Print counterfeit Confederate money
- Kick a cabbage
- Take a pictureD
- Put it back D
- Sandpaper a mushroom
- Play solitaire...for cash
- Abuse your patio furniture D
- Run for Pope
- Count to a million...fast
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock D
- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
- Revert
- Think shallow thoughts D
- Starch your shoes
- Polish your Calvin's
- Contemplate a cockroach
- Get a dog to chase your car
- Let him catch it
- Investigate the Czar
- Form a political party
- Climb a sidewalk
- Have a political party
- Get diagonal...with a good friend
- Ride a loaf of bread
- Sharpen a carrot D
- Interrogate a gerbil
- Go bow hunting for Toyotas
- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
- Jump back D
- Play to lose
- Scalp a street light
- Have your car painted...plaid
- Read a tomato
- Sharpen your sleeping skills
- Watch a game show...take notes
- Put out a fire
- If you can't find a fire, make one
- Interview a cloud
- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
- Play basketball...in a minefield
- Don't talk to things
- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling
- Have your cat bronzed
- Have your gerbil gilded
- Write books about writing books
- Create random equations
- Mispell words D
- Tell your feet a joke D
- Throw a tomato into a fan
- Sing the ABC song backwards
- Pretend you're a dog
- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it
- Grease the doorknobs
- String up a room
- Stack furniture
- Relive fond memories
- Tie your shoelaces together D
- Gargle D
- Count your teeth with your tongue D
- Decay Not yet.
- Find your half-life
- Design a better toilet seat
- Shred a newspaperD
- Have a headacheD
- Scratch
- Sniff
- Hatch an egg
- Play air guitar D
- Act profound d
- Spill D
- Spell D
- Stare
- Truncate
- Slouch D
- Develop hearing problems
- Put your feet behind your head D
- Tie bows in everything
- Hold your hand D
- Watch the minute hand move
- Grow your fingernails
- Pretend you're a telephone
- Ring
- Radiate
- Skip D
- Play hopscotch...with real scotch
- Clock the velocity of your REMs
- Put your shoes on the opposite feet D
- Cross your toes D
- Roll your tongue D
- Crystallize
- Baby oil the floor
- Hide D
- Attack innocent bunnies
- Declare war D
- Destroy a tree D
- Hide the scrabble bag
- Seduce your stick shift
- Wink D
- Memorize the periodic table
- Mummify D
- Pretend you're a roadie
- Buy a Ginsu knife
- Collect electrons
- Correct typos that aren't there
- Polish your neck...use Pledge
- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car
- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes
- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother
- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong
- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before
- Walk on water...but don't get caught
- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
- Be in the wrong place at the right time
- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
- Request covert assistance from the CIA
- Discover the source of the Mississippi
- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska
- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes
- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
- Drink as much prune juice as you can
- Write a book about your previous life
- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres
- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock
- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels
- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow
- Drive the speed limit...in your garage
- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final
- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna
- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check
- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas
- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster D
- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
job they're doing...On April 1st
- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them
- Turn your TV picture tube upside down
- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
- Be planar...but don't tell your parents
- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck
- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed
- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed
- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
- Debate politics with a fern
- See how small you can scrunch your face
- Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis
- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
- Raise professional certified racing turnips
- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.
- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first
- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
- Send your goldfish to obedience school
- Free the oppressed toasters of America
- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
- Park your car...with a friend
- Park your car...with a group of friends
- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
- Place it on the wall of your office
- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)
- Contribute to the population problem
- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
- Play with anything that looks interesting
- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock D
- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while D
- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
- Bronze your sister's turtle
- See how long it takes for her to notice
- See what she does when she notices
- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
- Increase your territorial holdings by force
- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
- Boldly go where no man has gone before
- Be a threat to the American way of life D
- Do research into the cause of World War III
- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh
- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth D
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair D
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself D
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr D
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your pillow X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water D
- Calmly have a nervous breakdown
- Give your goldfish a perm
- Fly a brick
- Play tag...on West 35th Street
- Exorcise a ghost
- Exercise a ghost
- Be blue D
- Be red D
- But don't be orange
- Plant a shoe
- Sweat D
- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
- Turn D
- Write a letter to Plato
- Mail it
- Take your sofa for a walk
- Start D
- Stop D
- Dial 911 and breathe heavily
- Go to a funeral...tell jokes
- Play the piano...with mittens on
- Scheme D
- Sit D
- Stay D
- Water your family room
- Cause a power failure
- Roll over D
- Play dead D
- Find a witch
- Burn her
- Donate your brother's body to science.... Almost D
- Ask why D
- Wriggle D
- Regress
- Sleepwalk without sleeping D
- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
- Wonder D
- Be a square root
- Ask stupid questions D, D, & D again
- Weld your car doors shut
- Spew D
- Vacation at Three-Mile Island
- Surf Ohio
- Teach your pet rock to play dead D I love you Tony!
- Go bowling for small game
- Be a monk...for a day
- Wear a sweatband to your wedding
- Staple
- Run away D
- Intimidate a piece of chalk D
- Abuse the plumbing
- Bend a florescent light
- Bend a brick
- Annoy total strangers D
- Let the best man win
- Believe in Santa Clause
- Throw marshmallows against the wall
- Hold an ice cube as long as possible D
- Adopt strange mannerisms DDDDDDDD
- Blow up a balloon until it pops D
- Sing soft and sweet and clear D
- Sing loud and sour and gravelyD
- Open everything
- Balance a pencil on your nose
- Pour milk in your shoes
- Write graffiti under the rug
- Embarrass yourself D
- Grind your teeth D
- Chew ice D
- Count your belly button "1, 2, 3... Wait." 0.0
- Sit in a row
- Stack crumbs D
- GestureD
- Save your toenail clippings D-ish
- Make a pass at your blender
- Punt
- Make up words that start with X D
- Make oatmeal in the bathtub
- Search for the Lost Chord
- Chew on a sofa cushion
- Sing a duet
- Balance a pillow on your head D
- Hold your breathD
- Faint D
- StretchD
- Flash your mailman "Hmm, let me think, no."
- Teach your TA English
- Learn to speak Farsi
- Swear in Russian
- Use an eraser until it goes away D
- Disassemble your car
- Put it together inside out
- Record your walls
- Interview your feet D
- Make a list of your favorite fungi
- Sell formaldehyde
- Repeat
- File your teeth - Whine D
- Rake your carpetD
- Re-elect Richard Nixon
- Critique "Three's Company" Done Done and Doner
- Listen to a painting
- Play with matches D...
- Buff your cat
- Race ferrets
- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
- Have a formal dinner at White Castle
- Read Homer in the original Greek
- Learn Greek
- Change your mind D
- Change it back D
- Watch the sun...see if it moves D
- Build a pyramid
- Stand on your head D
- Stand on someone else's head
- Spit shine your Nikes
- See how long you can stay awake DDD
- See how long you can sleep
- Paint your teeth
- Wear a salad
- Speak with a forked tongue
- Paint stripes on a lake
- Ski Kansas
- Sleep in freefall
- Kill a Joule
- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
- Apply for a unicorn hunting license
- Do a good job D- I'm the good kid remember?
- Crawl D
- Invite the Mansons over for dinner
- Paint your windows
- Watch a watch until it stops
- Flash your goldfish D o.o
- Paint
- Flirt with an evergreen
- Smile
- Rotate your garden...daily
- Paint a smile
- Shoot a fire hydrant
- Apologize to it
- Pretend you're blind D
- Annoy yourself D
- Get mad at yourself D
- Stop speaking to yourself D
- Be a side effect D
- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
- Duck D OMG YES!
- Redecorate...your garage
- Develop a complex
- Join the Army...be someone simple
- Try harder D
- Hit the deck
- Put leg-warmers on your furniture
- Cut the deck
- Crumple D
- Translate Shakespeare into English
- Skydive to church
- Cheer up a potato LOL D
- Do aerobic exercises...in your head
- Play cards with your swimming pool
- Pinstripe your driveway
- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
- Harness chipmunk power D
- Build a house with ice cubes
- Call London for a cab
- Mug a stop sign
- Change your name...daily
- Go for a walk in your attic
- Challenge your neighbor to a duel
- Build a house out of toothpicks
- Howl D
- Wear a lampshade on your head
- Memorize the dictionary
- Stomp grapes in the bathtub
- Find a bug and chase it D
- Make yourself a pair of wings D
- Be immobile Many a time....
- Dance 'til you drop D
- Check under chairs for chewing gum
- Squish a loaf of bread
- Moo D
- Bounce a potato D
- Outmaneuver your shadow
- Climb the walls
- Appreciate everything
- Challenge yourself to a duel
- Make napalm
- Tattoo your dresser
- Watch a bowling ball
- Buy some diapers
- Eat everything
- Begin D
- Pour milk in the sink
- Make cottage cheese
- Tie-dye your sheets
- Carpet your ceiling
- Hold your earlobes D
- Fold your earlobes D
- Flap D
- Squawk D
- Read tea leaves
- Analyze the Koran
- Be Buddha
- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
- Plug in the cat
- Turn on everything
- Drop pebbles down the chimney
- Turn off your neighbor
- Kill a plant D
- Buy a 1931 Almanac
- Memorize the weather section
- Think lewd thoughts about yourself
- Blow bubbles D
- Send chills down your spine D
- Peel grapes D
- Make paper from the skins
- Bloat D
- Catch them with your radiator
- Get run over by a train of thought
- Make up famous sayings D
- Bite your pinkie
- Get your dog braces
- Shave a shrub
- Have a proton fight
- Watch a car rust
- Quiver
- Rotate your carpet
- Learn to type...with your toes
- Set up your Christmas tree in April
- Be someone special D
- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
- Mail it to a friend
- Go back to square one D
- Factor your social security number
- Take the fifth
- Memorize a series of random numbers D
- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
- Join the Foreign Legion
- Learn Sanskrit
- Exist...existentially, of course D
- Print counterfeit Confederate money
- Kick a cabbage
- Take a pictureD
- Put it back D
- Sandpaper a mushroom
- Play solitaire...for cash
- Abuse your patio furniture D
- Run for Pope
- Count to a million...fast
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock D
- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
- Revert
- Think shallow thoughts D
- Starch your shoes
- Polish your Calvin's
- Contemplate a cockroach
- Get a dog to chase your car
- Let him catch it
- Investigate the Czar
- Form a political party
- Climb a sidewalk
- Have a political party
- Get diagonal...with a good friend
- Ride a loaf of bread
- Sharpen a carrot D
- Interrogate a gerbil
- Go bow hunting for Toyotas
- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
- Jump back D
- Play to lose
- Scalp a street light
- Have your car painted...plaid
- Read a tomato
- Sharpen your sleeping skills
- Watch a game show...take notes
- Put out a fire
- If you can't find a fire, make one
- Interview a cloud
- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
- Play basketball...in a minefield
- Don't talk to things
- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling
- Have your cat bronzed
- Have your gerbil gilded
- Write books about writing books
- Create random equations
- Mispell words D
- Tell your feet a joke D
- Throw a tomato into a fan
- Sing the ABC song backwards
- Pretend you're a dog
- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it
- Grease the doorknobs
- String up a room
- Stack furniture
- Relive fond memories
- Tie your shoelaces together D
- Gargle D
- Count your teeth with your tongue D
- Decay Not yet.
- Find your half-life
- Design a better toilet seat
- Shred a newspaperD
- Have a headacheD
- Scratch
- Sniff
- Hatch an egg
- Play air guitar D
- Act profound d
- Spill D
- Spell D
- Stare
- Truncate
- Slouch D
- Develop hearing problems
- Put your feet behind your head D
- Tie bows in everything
- Hold your hand D
- Watch the minute hand move
- Grow your fingernails
- Pretend you're a telephone
- Ring
- Radiate
- Skip D
- Play hopscotch...with real scotch
- Clock the velocity of your REMs
- Put your shoes on the opposite feet D
- Cross your toes D
- Roll your tongue D
- Crystallize
- Baby oil the floor
- Hide D
- Attack innocent bunnies
- Declare war D
- Destroy a tree D
- Hide the scrabble bag
- Seduce your stick shift
- Wink D
- Memorize the periodic table
- Mummify D
- Pretend you're a roadie
- Buy a Ginsu knife
- Collect electrons
- Correct typos that aren't there
- Polish your neck...use Pledge
- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car
- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes
- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother
- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong
- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before
- Walk on water...but don't get caught
- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
- Be in the wrong place at the right time
- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
- Request covert assistance from the CIA
- Discover the source of the Mississippi
- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska
- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes
- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
- Drink as much prune juice as you can
- Write a book about your previous life
- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres
- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock
- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels
- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow
- Drive the speed limit...in your garage
- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final
- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna
- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check
- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas
- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster D
- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
job they're doing...On April 1st
- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them
- Turn your TV picture tube upside down
- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
- Be planar...but don't tell your parents
- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck
- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed
- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed
- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
- Debate politics with a fern
- See how small you can scrunch your face
- Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis
- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
- Raise professional certified racing turnips
- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.
- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first
- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
- Send your goldfish to obedience school
- Free the oppressed toasters of America
- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
- Park your car...with a friend
- Park your car...with a group of friends
- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
- Place it on the wall of your office
- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)
- Contribute to the population problem
- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
- Play with anything that looks interesting
- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock D
- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while D
- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
- Bronze your sister's turtle
- See how long it takes for her to notice
- See what she does when she notices
- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
- Increase your territorial holdings by force
- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
- Boldly go where no man has gone before
- Be a threat to the American way of life D
- Do research into the cause of World War III
- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh
Things to do when your bored
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH VERY LITTLE
See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes)
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
Play our useless games
(Amusement Potential: how long have you got?)
Waste away the hours with our collection of useless games
Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes)
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Have a water gargling contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Put a glassful of water in your mouth and see how long you can keep gargling for. Award yourself extra points for loud and amusing gargling noises, and minus points if you laugh.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
Read my blog
(Amusement Potential: 30-40 minutes)
Reading about my blog.
See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes)
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
Play our useless games
(Amusement Potential: how long have you got?)
Waste away the hours with our collection of useless games
Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes)
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Have a water gargling contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Put a glassful of water in your mouth and see how long you can keep gargling for. Award yourself extra points for loud and amusing gargling noises, and minus points if you laugh.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
Read my blog
(Amusement Potential: 30-40 minutes)
Reading about my blog.
Little brother
So Shelly's little brother is staying for the weekend so I'm gonna have a little brother for the weekend, and so far it's kinda fun! :)
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
MY TAIL!
Ok so as none of you know I now have a tail, and I was wearing it too wall-mart, so we had been walking around and I reached around to adjust it and I couldn't find it and I had a like a mini heart attack and was like "OMG! MOM I LOST MY TAIL!" and like people looked at me like Oh it's just a crazy person, and than I found it in my shirt and was like "OH MY FREAKING GOD IT'S SAFE!" and the mini heart attack stopped.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sayings
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
11. My Reality Check bounced.
12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
18. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
11. My Reality Check bounced.
12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
18. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Do Ant'a breathe?
Ants, like all insects, do indeed breathe. Unlike vertebrates they do not
have lungs or an oxygen-carrying blood pigment (like the heme in hemoglobin for
us). Instead they rely on a system of tubes, called tracheae and tracheoles,
which carry atmospheric oxygen to the tissues and almost to the cellular level.
The outside openings of the tracheae are called spiracles. Gas exchange is
primarily by diffusion, although larger active insects my help this along by
contracting and expanding muscles around the tracheae in a process called
ventilation. Ants are small enough that they need only a few spiracles and do
not use ventilation. These openings usually have valves that allow the
spiracle to be open or closed. As noted earlier the blood does not transport
oxygen and is not red as it is in vertebrates.
have lungs or an oxygen-carrying blood pigment (like the heme in hemoglobin for
us). Instead they rely on a system of tubes, called tracheae and tracheoles,
which carry atmospheric oxygen to the tissues and almost to the cellular level.
The outside openings of the tracheae are called spiracles. Gas exchange is
primarily by diffusion, although larger active insects my help this along by
contracting and expanding muscles around the tracheae in a process called
ventilation. Ants are small enough that they need only a few spiracles and do
not use ventilation. These openings usually have valves that allow the
spiracle to be open or closed. As noted earlier the blood does not transport
oxygen and is not red as it is in vertebrates.
Push up and right and as soon as you hit the curve push right left and up and hold it.
-18 1i 18 1i,18 1k 26 27 37 34 49 44 57 51 6b 65 7n 7i 97 95 ac ab bh bi cl cq dq e2 eu fa g3 gi h7 hr ib j4 jg kd kk lm lo n0 ms oa o0 pj p6 qt qb s7 rg th sm ur ts 105 v2 11g 109 12q 11g 144 12n 15f 13u 16p 155 184 16d 19e 17l 1ap 18t 1c3 1a6 1de 1bf 1eo 1co 1g3 1e1 1he 1fa 1io 1gj 1k3 1hs 1ld 1j4 1mo 1kd 1o3 1lm 1pd 1mu 1qo 1o7 1s3 1pf 1td 1qn 1uo 1s0 203 1t8 21d,1t8 21d 1ug 22o 1vp 243 211 25d 229 26o 23h 283 24q 29e 262 2ao 27a 2c3 28i 2de 29q 2eo 2b3 2g3 2cb 2he 2dj 2io 2eu 2k3 2ga 2le 2hn 2mp 2j7 2o3 2kp 2pe 2mc 2qp 2o2 2s2 2pn 2tc 2re 2ul 2t4 2vu 2us 315 30k 32a 32d 33e 346 34h 360 35h 37q 36g 39k 37c 3be 387 3d7 390 3f0 39n 3gp 3ac 3ii 3av 3kb 3bg 3m4 3bu 3nt 3c8 3pm 3cg 3rf 3cl 3t8 3cp 3v1 3cq 40p 3co 42i 3ck 44a 3ce 463 3c7 47r 3bs 49j 3bg 4bb 3b0 4d4 3ad,4d4 3ad 4es 39o 4gk 391 4ib 387 4k3 37b 4lq 36e 4ng 35e 4p5 34b 4qp 336 4sa 31u 4tq 30k 4v8 2v8 50l 2tr 520 2sc 539 2qq 54g 2p8 55k 2nk 56n 2lu 57n 2k8 58l 2ii 59i 2gq 5ac 2f2 5b4 2da 5bq 2bg 5cc 29m 5cq 27s,5cq 27s 5d6 261 5de 246 5dj 22a 5dk 20f 5dm 1uj 5dp 1so,5a3 1e6 597 1d3 589 1c0 578 1as 562 19m 54q 18g 53d 17a 51s 163 505 14o 4uo 13n 4t8 12m 4rm 11k 4q3 10h 4oc vg 4mj ue 4km te 4im sf 4gl rh 4el qj 4cl pl 4am on 48n nq 46q ms 44s lu 42v l1 413 k3 3v7 j6 3tb i8 3rf hb 3pk gd 3no fg 3lv fr 3kg h2 3j5 i9 3hp jf 3gc kl 3f0 lr 3di n2 3c4 o9 3al ph 395 qp 37l s1 365 t9 34l uh 334 vp 31k 110,5do 1t7 5dj 1sh 5d9 1ro 5cq 1qt 5c9 1q3 5bl 1p9 5au 1oe 5a8 1nm 59f 1ms 58i 1m2 57o 1la 56t 1kj 560 1jr 550 1j4 53n 1ia 529 1hg 50m 1gl 4ut 1fq 4su 1f7 4qt 1ep 4os 1ei 4mu 1ei 4l0 1eo 4j1 1f2 4h2 1fg 4f4 1g2 4d6 1gm 4b8 1hd 499 1i6 47b 1j2 45g 1k4 43l 1l8 41s 1me 404 1nm 3ue 1ov 3so 1q9 3r2 1rl 3pe 1t2 3nr 1uh 3mm 1vl,3kv 2n1 3m6 2om 3ng 2q8 3os 2ro 3qa 2t5 3rs 2uc 3th 2ve 3v6 30c 40r 311 429 31c 43h 31h 44q 31h 45s 318 471 30n 486 2vs 499 2uq 4a4 2tq 4at 2so 4bk 2re 4c3 2qa 4ce 2p5,5dl 1v8 5dk 1uk 5dh 1u1 5dj 1t4,5dk 1up 5dh 1u6 5db 1ti 5d3 1ss 5cr 1s6 5ci 1rg 5c8 1qp 5br 1q2 5ba 1p8 5am 1oc 59u 1nc 592 1m6,3ml 1vi 3m8 209 3lr 214 3lg 21v 3l3 22u 3kn 23u 3kc 24v 3k2 260 3jq 270 3jj 282 3jd 297 3j8 2ad 3j4 2bk 3j1 2cs 3iv 2e4 3it 2fb 3ir 2gj 3iq 2hq,3ir 2hh 3ir 2i8 3ir 2j0 3iu 2jo 3jb 2ke 3jn 2l1 3k4 2lm 3kg 2ma 3ku 2mu,3ir 2h2 3ir 2hn 3is 2if,3io 2hr 3it 2id 3j1 2j1 3j4 2jk 3jc 2k5 3jn 2ko 3k3 2la 3kb 2ls 3ki 2me,3kk 2m9 3kb 2lm 3k3 2kt,3ir 2fl 3ir 2gb 3is 2h2 3iv 2hq 3j2 2ig 3j7 2ja 3jd 2jv 3jk 2kl 3k2 2l6 3kk 2lo,3kp 2lq 3ke 2l4 3k5 2kd 3ju 2jj 3jo 2ir 3ji 2i1 3jc 2h6 3j8 2gc 3j4 2fj 3j1 2ep 3iv 2dv 3iu 2d5,3kn 2ll 3kr 2m6,3kp 2lq 3l3 2md 3le 2mu 3lq 2nh 3m4 2o4 3me 2oo,3m6 2o8 3me 2oq 3ms 2p8##
Ok so I made this corse at http://www.addictinggames.com/freerider2.html so click on the link and when you get there you have to copy and paste this to the folder and it's really fun!
Ok so I made this corse at http://www.addictinggames.com/freerider2.html so click on the link and when you get there you have to copy and paste this to the folder and it's really fun!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saying's that I came up with and thought were funny
"Stupid Potato juice!"
"I LURVE Jellybeans."
"Har Har Tharsdays."
"All great and mindy."
"Pasta making is fun."
"Careful?! I don't need to be careful! I've got a gun!"
*Sniff* "Mmm, it smells like jelly beans."
"I LURVE Jellybeans."
"Har Har Tharsdays."
"All great and mindy."
"Pasta making is fun."
"Careful?! I don't need to be careful! I've got a gun!"
*Sniff* "Mmm, it smells like jelly beans."
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Bad Romance- Lady Gaga
oh oh ohohohohohohoooooo ra ra oo lala ro ma ro mama gaga oo lala caught in a bad romance I want your ugly I want your disease I want your everything as long as it's free
I want your love, love, love love I want your love I want your drama the touch of your hand I want your letter started kissing the sand, I want your love, love, love, love I want your love, You know that I want you you know that I need you I want your bad, your bad romance I want your love an I want your revenge you and me can write a bad romance! I want your love and all your lover's revenge you and me can write a bad romance, Oh oh oh oh ooooh!Caught in a bad romance! ohoh oh ohhhhoh ohoho caught in a bad romance ra ra ah ah ah ah ha ro ma ro mama gaga oo lala wajobe a romance
I want your horror I want your design 'cause your a criminal as long as your mine, I want your love, love, love, love I want your love, I want your physio your vertigo stick why you in marrow when your baby is sick, I want your love, love love, love I want your love, you know that I want you and you know that I need you I want your bad, your bad romance, I want your love and I want your revenge you and me can write a bad romance, wow oh oh I want you and all your lovers revange, you and me can wtite a bad romance wow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, caught in a bad romance, oh oh oh oh oh, caught in a bad romance, ra ra ahah ro ma ro mama gaga oo lala wajobe a romance, walk walk fashion baby what can make that b***h crazy, walk walk fashion baby what can make that b***h crazy, walk walk fashion baby what can make that b***h crazy, walk walk fashion baby what can I'm a free b***h baby, I want your love and I want and I want your revenge, I want your love and I want to be friends, tra tona moo wav a vootona von ja tona moo and I want too be friends, and I want to be friends, and I want to be friends, wajobe romance I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me can write a bad romance, wow oh oh I want your love and all your lovers revenge (caught in a bad romance) wow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wajobe a romance oh oh caught in a bad romance, wajobe a romance, wajobe a romance (caught in a bad romance)ra ra ra ah ah ah ro ma ro mama gaga oh lala wajobe a romance
I want your love, love, love love I want your love I want your drama the touch of your hand I want your letter started kissing the sand, I want your love, love, love, love I want your love, You know that I want you you know that I need you I want your bad, your bad romance I want your love an I want your revenge you and me can write a bad romance! I want your love and all your lover's revenge you and me can write a bad romance, Oh oh oh oh ooooh!Caught in a bad romance! ohoh oh ohhhhoh ohoho caught in a bad romance ra ra ah ah ah ah ha ro ma ro mama gaga oo lala wajobe a romance
I want your horror I want your design 'cause your a criminal as long as your mine, I want your love, love, love, love I want your love, I want your physio your vertigo stick why you in marrow when your baby is sick, I want your love, love love, love I want your love, you know that I want you and you know that I need you I want your bad, your bad romance, I want your love and I want your revenge you and me can write a bad romance, wow oh oh I want you and all your lovers revange, you and me can wtite a bad romance wow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, caught in a bad romance, oh oh oh oh oh, caught in a bad romance, ra ra ahah ro ma ro mama gaga oo lala wajobe a romance, walk walk fashion baby what can make that b***h crazy, walk walk fashion baby what can make that b***h crazy, walk walk fashion baby what can make that b***h crazy, walk walk fashion baby what can I'm a free b***h baby, I want your love and I want and I want your revenge, I want your love and I want to be friends, tra tona moo wav a vootona von ja tona moo and I want too be friends, and I want to be friends, and I want to be friends, wajobe romance I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me can write a bad romance, wow oh oh I want your love and all your lovers revenge (caught in a bad romance) wow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wajobe a romance oh oh caught in a bad romance, wajobe a romance, wajobe a romance (caught in a bad romance)ra ra ra ah ah ah ro ma ro mama gaga oh lala wajobe a romance
Monday, February 22, 2010
A good saying, remember it.
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Joshuas foot
OMG, OMG, OK so like 30 minutes ago Joshua was bringing his grapefruit bowl thingy, into the kitchen, also our computer room and our desk like blocks off half our path, and so I was heading towards him and we kick out at each other in slow-mo, to like make fun of the Matrix but he did it fast and hard so his foot SLAMMED into the wall of our desk, and it's a hardy wooden desk so it hurt and he like bent over in pain and I was laughing and saying like "Oh my god, Joshua, your such an idiot!"
And things like that, but it was so funny! And he was laughing and I was laughing and my mom was laughing, it was so so so funny!
And so his little toe is dislocated, all on the count of kicking out at me.
That is so ironic.
Oh, and Mia this is the picture I was telling you about. XP
Friday, February 19, 2010
About me
I love everybody and every thing, until the elves stole my pancakes, then I was MAD.
and now I'm a bitter old lady.
JOKE! I'm not a bitter old lady, just bitter, to the elves, and anyone who trys to kill me or take my replacement pancakes.
and now I'm a bitter old lady.
JOKE! I'm not a bitter old lady, just bitter, to the elves, and anyone who trys to kill me or take my replacement pancakes.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tee hee.....
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Ha ha! I thought that was funny and I like it so that will be my 'saying thingy'...
Isn't it called "Mod-Oh" ? yes I believe that's it.
Ha ha! I thought that was funny and I like it so that will be my 'saying thingy'...
Isn't it called "Mod-Oh" ? yes I believe that's it.
Do Fish Sleep?
Answer:Yes fish sleep. But it’s not sleep as we know it. They don’t have eyelids to close, they sometimes do it during the day, they don’t show the characteristic brainwave patterns like REM sleep seen in humans, and some, including most sharks have to keep swimming in their sleep.
Funny of the day.
An atom walks into a bar, gets wasted. As he’s leaving, he slaps his
pockets and says, “Darn, I’ve lost an electron”.
The bartender said “Are you sure?”
So the atom says, “I’m positive.”
pockets and says, “Darn, I’ve lost an electron”.
The bartender said “Are you sure?”
So the atom says, “I’m positive.”
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Funny of the day!
One day a teacher is talking to her 2nd grade class about how Jonah couldn’t possibly have survived inside a fish.
A little girl raises her hand, “Teacher, don’t worry. When I get to heaven I’ll ask him if he was in a fish for you”
The teacher looks stunned.
“And how do you know that he’ll be in heaven,” Asked the teacher, “What if he’s in hell?”
To that the little girl replied, “Then you can ask him.”
A little girl raises her hand, “Teacher, don’t worry. When I get to heaven I’ll ask him if he was in a fish for you”
The teacher looks stunned.
“And how do you know that he’ll be in heaven,” Asked the teacher, “What if he’s in hell?”
To that the little girl replied, “Then you can ask him.”
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
omg totes randmnss
EVERYONE LAUGHED AT YOU AS YOU SLAPPED EDWARD FOR KISSING YOU. "SILENCE, I KILL YOU!!!!"YOU YELLED AT A YELLOW MONKEY WITH BLUE POKA-DOTS. SUDDENLY YOUR IN THE ARMS OF THE HOTTEST KID IN SCHOOL, JASPER HALE. ...........BANANANA CHEESE PUDDING!!!!!
WOW Sav.
WOW Sav.
SONGS!!!
Havin' fun! singing! Wif my mommy! Build me butter cup! Why do you build me up!?
Just to let me down and mess me around? And worst of all you never call, when you say you will, but I love you still!
Next song!\
Charlie's got a gold watch, don' t seem like a hole lot...
after driving 30 years on the interstate
18 wheels and a dozen roses,a few more songs from the all night radio,
then he'll spend the rest of life with the one he loves!
NEXT!
If I could turn back time! If I could find a way!
I'd take back those words that hurt you!
Don't want to type the rest of this song...
Just to let me down and mess me around? And worst of all you never call, when you say you will, but I love you still!
Next song!\
Charlie's got a gold watch, don' t seem like a hole lot...
after driving 30 years on the interstate
18 wheels and a dozen roses,a few more songs from the all night radio,
then he'll spend the rest of life with the one he loves!
NEXT!
If I could turn back time! If I could find a way!
I'd take back those words that hurt you!
Don't want to type the rest of this song...
More SavvY's
Synonyms:
acute, astute, brainy, cagey, calculating, canny, clever, crafty, cunning, discerning, experienced, farsighted, foxy*, heady, in the know, ingenious, intelligent, judicious, keen, knowing, on the ball, perceptive, sagacious, sensible, sharp, slick*, sly, smart, smooth, streetwise, wise
acute, astute, brainy, cagey, calculating, canny, clever, crafty, cunning, discerning, experienced, farsighted, foxy*, heady, in the know, ingenious, intelligent, judicious, keen, knowing, on the ball, perceptive, sagacious, sensible, sharp, slick*, sly, smart, smooth, streetwise, wise
So my friend Kieran..
So me friend Kieran gave me the name SavvY yes with a Y but I wanted it to be an I so we changed it. To Savvi
And NO WHERE IN THE DICTIONARY is the word Savvi.
But there is Savvy.
But I won't change it. Read the discription for my Blog.
–verb (used with object), verb (used without object) 1. to know; understand.
–noun 2. Also, sav⋅vi⋅ness. practical understanding; shrewdness or intelligence; common sense: a candidate who seemed to have no political savvy.
–adjective 3. shrewdly informed; experienced and well-informed; canny.
4 »Related Words for : Savvy
apprehend, compass, comprehend, dig, get the picture
And Yes. The snail is Random.
THE Blue Jean Shorty Shorts
YO!!!! What up my homes?!?!?!
WOW OK so I have like a pair of shorty shorts (Cut offs) but not like the Daisy dukes blue jean underwear.... 0.0 LOL! I crack my self up!
Well I'm going to have all my friends draw on them.
Fun Little sayings ya know?
Like 'All great and Mindy' and things like that.
OH!!! And I took like two online quiz's and I'm supposedly a dumb bubbly blond
And Mrs. Emmet Cullen, MY HEART STILL BELONGS TO YOU TAYLOR!!
LOL, lets hope he doesn't go blog searching... XP
RANDOMNESS
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
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